no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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