Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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