i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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