The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
