he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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