and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
