I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize