I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
