Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
