so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize