I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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