I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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