remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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