these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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