I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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