So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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