At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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