How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
