TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
