i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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