this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize