Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
