just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
