my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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