K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Screwed.edu
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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