Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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