Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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