What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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