Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
