I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
