Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
