Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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