"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I will pee on everything he values.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
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