My cat gives me a boner
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
