ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
