I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
