Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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