i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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