And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
