Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
