so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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