Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
