is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
