I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
