Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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