If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
