Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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