my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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