Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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