i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
