question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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