i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
BRING THE BAGELS
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
