he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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