I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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