If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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