It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
