oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
