so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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