i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
