i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
