I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
