Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
