i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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