I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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