Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
