Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
