i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize